Separation City

When they exchanged wedding vows they wrote themselves, adultery is the one thing Simon and Pam swore would never happen to them. In a world where failed and troubled relationships seemed to be the norm, by some miracle Simon had scored the smartest, hottest creature on the planet, and she hadn’t done badly either. They would never need or long for anyone else ever again.

That was before the kids arrived.

Pam’s nipples are cracked from breast-feeding. She feels dull and unattractive and is self-conscious about her body. For all intents and purposes libido might well be the capital of Portugal. Being a wife and mother while attending university part time leaves her constantly distracted and exhausted.

She accepts that Simon has physical needs and dutifully allows them to be met - provided he is quick. Simon becomes so efficient in this respect he fears he is turning into an accomplished premature ejaculator. Lately the prospect of exploring another woman’s body, one who wouldn’t mind losing a few pages if she read during sex, festers with intent at the edge of his every waking thought, but who?

Thanks to Pam’s training there are so many women he could disappoint. Like Kati, the beautiful Dutch woman who plays cello for the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.

Simon's deep-seated sexual performance anxiety is something he could raise at the men’s group his friend, the hapless intense Keith, wants to set up to examine gender equity issues, share feelings, and ask what it means to be male in the second Millennium. When Simon’s best mate, the cheerful, witty Harry, who refuses to take anything seriously, says the men’s group could be good for laugh, Simon agrees to attend.

Harry and Simon worked together as journalists in the Parliamentary Press Gallery, until Simon moved upstairs to become press secretary to Cabinet Minister and cheerful drunk, Archie Boyle. 

Harry met Keith when their wives had adjoining beds in the maternity hospital.

At dinner one night Simon notices the recently separated utterly gorgeous Kati noticing him for the first time, and his heads swims with guilt and lust.

Kati’s separated husband, Klaus, also Dutch, joins the men’s group and is disarmingly frank about how badly he cheated on her, which only further persuades Simon that this precious fragile flower who smiles at him secretly from across the room needs protecting and comforting.

The beautiful confident Kati, who is constantly hit on by men, finds Simon’s clumsy chivalry curiously endearing. After a lot of shadow boxing they declare their feelings for each other and are both frightened by the intensity of their passion. Kati, realizing things have gone too far, wants to pull the plug. Simon argues you can’t end an affair that hasn’t been consummated. Consummation is attempted and is all over in a nanosecond.

The wretched Simon pleads for a second chance. When Kati mentions she is taking the children to Holland to see their grandmother, Simon has an idea. He will be in Amsterdam at the same time with Boyle, who is giving the keynote speech at conference on Global Warming. They can re-consummate the bungled consummation then.

At the men’s group, other husbands warn Klaus about allowing his estranged wife to take his children back to Holland, and Simon has to argue eloquently on the need for trust if relationships are ever to work.

When Boyle suggest Simon bring Pam to Amsterdam as a treat, Simon fobs him off, so Boyle goes behind his back to get Pam to the Dutch capital as surprise.

It’s a surprise all right. Simon is about to make love to Kati, when Pam, a bell hop with  the champagne Simon has ordered, and the distraught Harry who has twigged to what is happening, gather outside his luxury suite.

It’s here where Simon’s genes controlling infidelity, and the male biological imperative to scatter seed far and wide, start to rapidly unravel…

Writer:            Tom Scott

Director:         Paul Middleditch

Producer:        Mark Overett

NZ Producer:   Barrie Osbourne

Status:           Announced

Budget:          $NZ 5.9m

Sales/Distro:   Hoyts, Fu Works

Finance:          New Zealand Film Fund, TVNZ, NZ on Air

Production:      July 2008

New Holland Pictures/Direct Hit Co-production